God is Gracious

On a recent trip to Romania, I was privileged to share my testimony with the village church at Meziad. This was first posted on the blog of our mission website, www.fpcromaniacs.com.
And since this is my first post as an official blogger, I thought my testimony would be an appropriate starting place.

My name is Jenette. Jenette means “God is gracious.” I’m grateful that my parents named me that, because every time I say my name, I get to speak that truth. It’s a truth that I feel I live every day. God’s graciousness has been woven in and through my life story. Without His grace, there would be no story.

I was almost literally born in a church. My parents lived in the parsonage next-door to the small church they served. My name is on the cradle roll that hangs there in the nursery to this day. I was, in fact, born in a nearby town, but attended my first church service at 9 days old.

Though I wasn’t actually born in a church, I was literally raised in one. My father became a campus minister when I was 5 and from that time on, our home was also home to the ministry and the college kids he served. Girls lived on the floor above us, boys on the floor below. Weekly services were held in a large meeting room every Thursday and dinner was always joined by at least one guest.

I had a fairly idyllic childhood, but in the midst of it all, I was desperately lost. My salvation story, like everyone’s, is dramatic and I’m grateful that even now, as promised in Philippians 1:6, God is bringing the good work He began in me to completion.

I can’t remember a time that I didn’t love Jesus. But I can remember times that I didn’t love my neighbor. I can remember times that I was judgmental and cruel. I can remember times that I showed more allegiance to the father of lies than the Father of Light. I lived in darkness by my own design. Light was all around me, but I closed my eyes to it. I didn’t do drugs. I didn’t sleep around. I didn’t do things that were flamboyantly rebellious, but still, I bore rebellion in my heart.

The only thing I didn’t bear was any responsibility for myself. My parents had great faith and I watched them live it every day. I even became annoyed by it and believed them to be self-righteous because agreeing with them meant agreeing with rules that I didn’t want to follow. That the rules came from the Bible only made it worse. I couldn’t see at the time the rules were a guardrail to keep me from falling into a pit—I only saw a fence keeping me out of a garden. I wanted my way. I just didn’t want the blame when the “fun” wore off...or the lies caught up...or someone got hurt.

I remember it clearly; sitting watching a wedding ceremony when I was about 10 years old. Something about watching that bride meet her groom made me think about how Christ is the groom of the church and His desire is for her to be pure and holy and acceptable before the Father. I realized that the home I lived in was clean and full of the Spirit, but the home Christ wanted, my heart, was black and uninhabitable. I couldn’t rely on my parents to clean it. I couldn’t rely on myself. I could only rely on the blood of Christ to cleanse me and save me from my sin. And He did. He is gracious.

My father baptized me in the church where I had watched that wedding. I wish I could say that I have since followed Christ with all my heart and without fail. I can not. I can only say that without the power of His sacrificial death and death-defeating resurrection, I would be hopelessly lost in a sea of meaningless religion. Instead, I am here before you today as a testimony of God’s grace and a witness of Christ’s love. I have had many trials and times of trouble, many disappointments and failures of my own making, but through it all, God is gracious. So, my testimony of Christ concludes in the same way John concluded his gospel,

This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true.

And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written.—John 21:24-25

I look forward to that day when I will stand with you again (without an interpreter), in a great cloud of witnesses before the Father and the Son. Until then, may God bless and keep you and be gracious unto you.